“Trust Your Gut,” “Bite Your Tongue” and the Power in the Body
“Trust your gut.” “Bite your tongue.” “Swallow your words.” There are so many sayings in our language that clearly demonstrate how instrumental the body is in our psyches and choices. Despite the centrality of the body in these phenomena, time and time again I hear and see people discounting the role of the body.
They either numb out and dismiss their experience, or they get caught in the story, in their thoughts, and in trying to make sense with words and cognition – why couldn’t I have just said that thing? Or – I knew something was off, why didn’t I act on it? The wonderings after-the-fact go on and on. And meaning-making is important, as is the role of cognition and story-telling when used appropriately. However, as a society and in therapeutic attempts, people are overly reliant on coming up with – and actually, forcing – words. When all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.
Honestly, the reliance on and praise of words gives people a socially-rewarded escape into their heads and out of their bodies, which is where the truths are waiting and ready to share. These may be hard truths, so the importance of going slowly and being in a safe connection cannot be overestimated.
The movement from avoidance into the questioning is a courageous movement that brings people in the direction of the body. Questions like, “Why couldn’t I say something?” start to bring curiosity closer towards one’s individual truth. Most modalities of therapy keep people in their heads, spinning around in circles forcingmeaning and exacerbating pain in the long run, without resolution. Talking is helpful in its appropriate timing. Remember: Not everything is a nail. I find that words are often available after we’ve made sense of things – after the truth has been illuminated within the body. Then, the words increase the process of integration.
So now we have two main unanswered questions…
(1) How can you not just have a hammer – or solely use cognition – when processing life events?
(2) What’s the big deal with the sayings that point to the body?
Expanding the toolkit is a major facet in the therapies that I offer. I regard having a well-honed toolkit, with many tools, and the presence and adaptability to select the one that best works for you given the circumstance, as a pillar in healing and thriving in life. We’re talking about empowerment and self-determination here. There are multiple aspects present in this therapeutic toolkit:
- Well-honed: Practiced and Tested
- Many tools: Various practices that feel reliable to you
- Presence and adaptability: You know which ones work well in varying scenarios, and if that tool isn’t cutting it, you feel ok allowing the time-space to try another tool
Tools can be breathing practices, visualizations, movements, reaching out to safe people, different types of therapy, and more. Further, the tools themselves and building the toolkit work directly with the nervous system, re-wiring its homeostasis and window of tolerance. Self-awareness, daily life, and behavior also can be transformed in ways that feel positive for you.
So, what’s the big deal with the sayings that incorporate to the body? Have you already shrugged off the significance of the body? … Did you catch the word “shrug” and how that word, too, points to the body?
Many people regard these sayings in a nonchalant way, believing they’re just part of the vernacular. But—they’re in our language and have survived for a reason. Let’s break it down with the three examples I shared at the beginning of this post.
“Trust your gut” – Have you ever met anyone who regretted trusting their gut? I haven’t. The gut has its own nervous system – the enteric nervous system – that can make decisions independently from the brain in the head. Not only do you have an additional brain in your gut, but also the gut secretes more serotonin than the brain in the head. Further, the body takes in all of the information from the present moment, and only a small fraction of this sea of data is presented to the thinking mind. It is an efficient use of energy. Thus, when you trust your gut, you’re tuning into the vast data-sea the body has noticed. Not all of this information will make sense to the thinking-mind in the moment. You don’t have to have the logical evidence to trust your gut.
Nevertheless, many people – particularly women and other oppressed groups – have been taught not to trust their guts. It can feel viscerally unsafe to trust oneself when it goes against the status quo. (Did you catch that body-word? Viscerally. Our viscera are involved.) When we are disconnected from our bodies, distrustful or dismissive of what our guts are telling us, the people and systems hoarding power get to retain power over us. They’ve robbed us of self-determination, agency, and freedom by disconnecting us from our bodies, specifically our guts.
“Bite your tongue” and “Swallow your words” – Many people who come to work with me struggle with voicing their needs and opinions. They often struggle to think of and identify their own needs. If you don’t voice your need when you have one, if you don’t speak up, your jaw and mouth are suffering. Your soul suffers, as well, and this deep pain often is reflected in the jaw and mouth. When you keep your mouth shut in a conversation, you literally keep your mouth shut. Muscles, nerves, and fascia work simultaneously with the thought and emotion to clench and contract. The words physically cannot get out of your body. When this swallowing of words – and common correlations of “being the good girl” and “not rocking the boat” – builds over time, people often suffer with TemperoMandibular Joint (TMJ) Dysfunction, teeth grinding at night, and headaches (a referral pattern of jaw tension). Other symptoms can occur as well, including pelvic floor and hip issues.
When you can liberate your body – the trust in your gut, the jaw and mouth to speak your truth, your hips to dance, your breath to flow deeply and rejuvenate you – you are breaking down the systems of oppression. You are freeing yourself from the internalization of these systems. You are allowing space for the life that is honest and meaningful to you, with the ability to create and build that life. Can you think of anything more creative and liberating?